“你只是……讨厌男人吗？”
当我（现在的前任）长途男友在（字面意义上的）Netflix和Chill会话期间问我这个问题时，我很惊讶我几乎掉了手机。
这不是第一次男人问我这个问题。尽管事实上我不是一个沉默的人 – 尤其是这种廉价，陈词滥调的伎俩 – 这一次是不同的。我的伙伴，曾让我教他更多关于女性为什么需要安全空间的问题，这个问题让人讨厌谈话。在神圣的Netflix和寒冷时期。我想到了他喜欢的可怕的布鲁斯威利斯电影。
谈论脆弱的男子气概。
“这就是为什么 我们的故事 是我最喜欢的爱情故事，“他说，开始冷静会议的电影分析部分。”就是这样 真实.“
我打了个寒颤。
“我想你是这样说的，因为本·乔丹（布鲁斯·威利斯的角色）得到了一个美好的结局。但从他妻子的角度来看，这并不是一个伟大的爱情故事。”
“怎么会这样？”他说，我把它误认为是阴谋。
“本乔丹是一个完整的婴儿。他所有的妻子要求他长大，并且在他们的关系中成为一个平等的父母和伴侣。他说’不，’她威胁要与他离婚，他不做任何改变，然后她说，“好的，没关系！”那只是重男轻女的强制。“
“强迫?“他用一种语气问我现在认为是厌恶。
“在这个父权制社会中，女性被社会化以溺爱男性自我，而不是过多地问男性，或者冒着失去社会所说女人应该重视的一切的风险， 即 男性的关注和认可。最好不要通过要求成熟和平等伙伴关系等“不合理”的事情来撼动船只。“
“这真是一场噩梦，”我继续道，“与一个永远不会为了你的利益而牺牲或改变的人保持关系，但是当你在沉默中受苦时，他会期待你这样做。”
哦，我有先见之明的心。
我一半期待他问我们如何防止这种情况发生在我们自己的关系中。我得到的是，“你只是讨厌男人吗？”接着是几个月他自己用尽乔丹的印象。
对于我努力与他“一起工作”的所有无薪情绪劳动，试图帮助他理解我在世界上面临的微观问题并不是微不足道的微不足道的问题，因为他认为“微观”这个词暗示着（“我的意思是，如果他们是，我能理解你的痛苦 宏 侵略……“）我可能会回到过去，沮丧地回答他的问题：”如果所有人都像你一样，那么是的！也许我这样做！“
但那是不公平的。幸运的是，这只是一个不太匹配的关系。
不过，它激起了我的恐惧。如果大多数男人真的怎么办 是 本乔丹？ “很好”的人喜欢他们的伴侣，但只是以保持舒适的方式？当他从他的浴缸发推文时，Rev. Run是正确的，“Just pic 1继续前进”？
我很犹豫在这里应用破碎时钟法则。事实上，我确信有很多男人为他们的伴侣提供互惠的爱和情感支持。它们存在！他们不可能都结婚了！保持希望活着！
但是在更大的范围内，这些男人在浪漫的爱情中会在哪里 离 桌子？他们是否认为我们的社会在保持父权制方面投入如此深刻，以至于全国各地的一群老白人在2016年成功地剥夺了妇女的合法权利以管理我们自己的身体？
虽然有些人可能不同意反选择立法，谁准备拿起斧头并拆除我们的强奸文化？虽然有些男人可能会认为黑人女性每人以0.64美元兑换男性所做的美元并不公平，但是谁准备以0.36美元的价格筹码呢？
是的，有些男人认为，生活中的女性拥有蓬勃发展的事业并且结婚后不会改变自己的名字，这真是太棒了，但是谁真的有兴趣做一些非常长期的非殖民化关系非殖民化工作？谁准备将这个世界非殖民化？
因为有毒的男性气质不仅不公平，或令人讨厌，或有害 – 它会杀死女性。
黑人妇女和15至35岁女孩的主要死因是家庭暴力或亲密伴侣暴力。黑人妇女遭受的内部暴力发生率最高。詹姆斯·迪克森（James Dixon）刚刚承认殴打黑人女超人伊斯兰荨麻（Islan Nettles），因为他认为她被反叛威胁他的“男子气概”。
它以一种看似无害的小方式开始，比如坐在一个小组上，抱怨它缺乏包容性，而不是让你的座位给一个有资格的女人，无论如何都可以做得更好。
它期待女性溺爱和集中成年男性的情感和需求。它正在羞辱女性，以挑战男性的观点，或者只是敢于以男人皱眉的方式存在。
它否认你是一个厌恶女人，因为你“不讨厌女人”，却没有意识到女人应该得到比你更少的女人 不是爱.
相信它必须停下来的男人在哪里，更好的是，还会争取它吗？什么俱乐部你们都在？
我不知道。但我知道这一点：如果你最喜欢的浪漫电影是 我们的故事, 你不是吗
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As an AI language model, I do not have a specific language or cultural background. However, I can understand and translate the text provided into different languages. Here is a translation of the text into English:
“Are you just…hating men?” When my (now ex) long-distance boyfriend asked me this question during a literal Netflix and Chill session, I was so surprised I almost dropped my phone. This wasnt the first time a man had asked me this question. Despite the fact that I am not a silent person – especially about this cheap, clichéd trick – this time was different. My partner, who had asked me to teach him more about why women need safe spaces, made this conversation annoying. During the sacred Netflix and Chill period. I thought of the terrible Bruce Willis movie he liked.
“What if most men really are Ben Jordan?” Good men who love their partners but only in a way that keeps them comfortable?” Talking about fragile masculinity. “Thats why our story is my favorite love story,” he said, starting the cool movie analysis part of the meeting. “Its real.” I shuddered.
“I think youre saying that because Ben Jordan (Bruce Willis character) got a happy ending. But from his wifes perspective, this isnt a great love story.”
“How come?” He said, and I mistook it for a conspiracy.
“Ben Jordan is a complete baby. All his wives ask him to grow up and become an equal parent and partner in their relationship. He says no, she threatens to divorce him, he doesnt make any changes, and then she says, Okay, fine! Thats just forced male privilege.”
“Forced?” He asked me now with a tone of disgust.
“In this patriarchal society, women are socialized to indulge male egos rather than ask too much of men, or risk everything that society says women should value, namely male attention and recognition. Its better not to rock the boat by asking for unreasonable things like mature and equal partnerships.”
“Its better not to rock the boat by asking for unreasonable things like mature and equal partnerships.”
“This is a nightmare,” I continued, “to keep a relationship with someone who will never sacrifice or change for your benefit, but expects you to do so when you suffer in silence.” Oh, I have a prescient heart. I half expected him to ask how we could prevent this from happening in our own relationship. What
As an AI language model, I do not have a specific language or cultural background. However, I can understand and translate the text provided into different languages. Here is a translation of the text into English:
“Are you just…hating men?” When my (now ex) long-distance boyfriend asked me this question during a literal Netflix and Chill session, I was so surprised I almost dropped my phone. This wasnt the first time a man had asked me this question. Despite the fact that I am not a silent person – especially about this cheap, clichéd trick – this time was different. My partner, who had asked me to teach him more about why women need safe spaces, made this conversation annoying. During the sacred Netflix and Chill period. I thought of the terrible Bruce Willis movie he liked.
“What if most men really are Ben Jordan?” Good “men who love their partners but only in a way that keeps them comfortable?” Talking about fragile masculinity. “Thats why our story is my favorite love story,” he said, starting the cool movie analysis part of the meeting. “Its real.” I shuddered.
“I think youre saying that because Ben Jordan (Bruce Willis character) got a happy ending. But from his wifes perspective, this isnt a great love story.”
“How come?” He said, and I mistook it for a conspiracy.
“Ben Jordan is a complete baby. All his wives ask him to grow up and become an equal parent and partner in their relationship. He says no, she threatens to divorce him, he doesnt make any changes, and then she says, Okay, fine! Thats just forced male privilege.”
“Forced?” He asked me now with a tone of disgust.
“In this patriarchal society, women are socialized to indulge male egos rather than ask too much of men, or risk everything that society says women should value, namely male attention and recognition. Its better not to rock the boat by asking for unreasonable things like mature and equal partnerships.”
“Its better not to rock the boat by asking for unreasonable things like mature and equal partnerships.”
“This is really a nightmare,” I continued, “to keep a relationship with someone who will never sacrifice or change for your benefit, but expects you to do so when you suffer in silence.” Oh, I have a prescient heart. I half expected him to ask how we could prevent this from happening in our own relationship